Van Man
Contents
About
Van Man
May 30 1977
Van Man was born on the west coast of California at an unknown location inside of an alien space craft.
His nickname is taken from Steven Spielberg's “E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial” movie end credits.
He is a brown mouse with blue eyes and black hair. His clothing matches Chip's so he can attract a blonde girl mouse some day.
The Spirit of the RMS Titanic
A blonde girl mouse was born on May 31, 1981, in Belfast, Ireland. She is to be known as "Titanic" by her family.
Introduction
Van Man buys some TV air time. (He is on TV, is writing on a clipboard, then hands it to a woman standing next to him)
Van Man: Thank you. (She walks offscreen as Van Man addresses the camera)Hi, I'm Van Man. You know there's an issue facing many Americans today that concerns a great number of us. According to Gallop Polls: 1 in 12 Americans is unaware that my species do not exist. I for one, dream of an America where my species do exist.
Chapter 1
Van Man: Ding fries are done ding fries are done ding fries are done ding fries are done
I gotta run I gotta run I gotta run I gotta run
I work at Burger King making flame-broiled whoppers I wear paper hats
Would you like an apple pie with that? Would you like an apple pie with that?
Ding fries are done ding fries are done ding fries are done ding fries are done
I gotta run I gotta run I gotta run I gotta run
Don't touch the fries in hot fat it really hurts bad and so do skin graphs
Would you like an apple pie with that? Would you like an apple pie with that?
Wait for the bell Can't hear the bell Where is the bell Wait for the bell
Ding fries are done Diiing friiies are dooone
Chapter 2
Van Man inherits $500,000 from his dead uncle. There is one catch. According to the will, he has to get married.
Chapter 3
Sandra "Sandy" Cheeks (born November 17, 1987) is a female squirrel and is notable for her Texan characteristics, knowledge of karate and science. Sandy come from the state of Texas and exhibits many characteristics of a stereotypical "cowgirl" character. She speaks with a heavy southern accent, and uses typical southern slang words and phrases I can't reveal here. She is very fond of her homeland and its culture in which she grows homesick for it and considers leaving California to return to Texas.
