Difference between revisions of "Van Man"
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A blonde girl mouse was born on May 31, 1981, in Belfast, Ireland. She is to be known as "Titanic" by her family. | A blonde girl mouse was born on May 31, 1981, in Belfast, Ireland. She is to be known as "Titanic" by her family. | ||
| − | == | + | ==Introduction== |
| − | + | Van Man buys some TV air time. | |
== Chapter 1 == | == Chapter 1 == | ||
Revision as of 21:13, 2 May 2011
Contents
About
Van Man
May 30 1977
Van Man was born on the west coast of California at an unknown location inside of an alien space craft.
His nickname is taken from Steven Spielberg's “E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial” movie end credits.
He is a brown mouse with blue eyes and black hair. His clothing matches Chip's so he can attract a blonde girl mouse some day.
The Spirit of the RMS Titanic
A blonde girl mouse was born on May 31, 1981, in Belfast, Ireland. She is to be known as "Titanic" by her family.
Introduction
Van Man buys some TV air time.
Chapter 1
Van Man: Ding fries are done ding fries are done ding fries are done ding fries are done
I gotta run I gotta run I gotta run I gotta run
I work at Burger King making flame-broiled whoppers I wear paper hats
Would you like an apple pie with that? Would you like an apple pie with that?
Ding fries are done ding fries are done ding fries are done ding fries are done
I gotta run I gotta run I gotta run I gotta run
Don't touch the fries in hot fat it really hurts bad and so do skin graphs
Would you like an apple pie with that? Would you like an apple pie with that?
Wait for the bell Can't hear the bell Where is the bell Wait for the bell
Ding fries are done Diiing friiies are dooone
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
"New Orleans"
There is a sign on a door that reads: "Readers and Practitioners of Voodoo"
[Cut to the inside of a room where we see Van Man practicing and acting like a conductor with his magic wand and we hear a woman singing in the background. As soon as the music finishes, Van Man walks up to the phonograph and stops the record. Van Man walks up to his student, Titanic]
Van Man: Now, you see, Titanic. That’s the way it should be sung. Shall we try it again?
Titanic: [starts putting her hands on Van Man] I’ll try anything for you, professor.
Van Man: [pushes Titanic’s hands away and smiles] Oh that’s fine, fine.
[Van Man walks up to Dale, who is sitting at the piano and sleeping]
Van Man: If you please, doctor. [taps Dale in the head with wand] Doctor.
[Van Man hits Dale’s arm. Dale’s arm accidentally falls and it closes the cover of the piano. Dale awakes] Van Man: Doctor.
[Van Man and Dale bow at each other and Van Man bops him on the head]
Dale: Oh!
Van Man: [opens the piano cover] Play!
[Dale starts playing the piano]
[Dale starts snoring. Van Man hits Dale’s arm again and the piano cover closes on Dale’s hand and we hear a dissonant chord on the piano]
Dale: Oh! [gets his hand out of the piano] Oh! Look!
[Dale shows his crooked fingers to Van Man. Van Man grabs Dale’s fingers and straightens them]
Dale: Ahh!
Van Man: [opens the piano cover] Play!
[Dale plays some notes on the piano]
Titanic: Alright, Van Man. I know you wouldn’t want anything to happen to my throat. [taps Van Man’s face and leaves]
Van Man: [closes the door and turns to Dale] Except to have somebody cut it.
Dale: How would you like to be married to a dame like that?
Van Man: Don’t even say that!
[The door opens and hits Van Man. Chip walks in]
Van Man: Ohh! [turns around] I oughta---
Chip: You oughta what?
Van Man: I oughta be a little more careful.
Chip: Well, shut up and listen. Do you remember your Uncle Caleb?
Van Man: Do I? Why, that old tightwad, he’d steal flies from a blind spider.
Chip: But Van Man, he’s---
Van Man: He’s a louse and a weasel.
Chip: Yeah? Well he just died and left you five hundred thousand bucks!
Van Man: Just like that old skinflint. [gasps] Five hundred thousand bucks!! [starts whimpering] Poor old Uncle Caleb. Like I was saying, he was a swell guy. Give you the shirt off his back and throw in the buttons too.
Chip: But, there’s one little catch. You get the dough provided you’re married.
Van Man: So--- [gasps] Married! No no! Fellas! I’m gonna faint! [walks up to the chair and faints on it]
Van Man: [gasps] Ohh!
Chip: Or---
Van Man: [gets up] Or what?
Chip: [reads the paper in his hand] If you get a proposal within seven days of the reading of the will.
Dale: What time was that?
Chip: Day one just passed last night.
Dale: You got six days to get yourself a bride.
Van Man: It can’t be done. No woman is interested in me.
Dale: Maybe not, pal. But if you look real hard, you might find one that's interested in half a million bucks!
Van Man: Maybe you’ve got something there.
Chip: You’re darn right he has. Do you know any girls?
Van Man: [opens his small phonebook] I’ve got a lot of numbers, but I haven’t had much luck with ‘em lately.
Chip: Well, you can’t get killed for trying. Where’s the phone?
Van Man: There’s a booth down the hall.
Chip: [grabs Van Man by the hair] Well, what are we waiting for? Come on!
Van Man: Oh!
Dale: Down the hall!
Van Man: Ow, ow, ow!
[Cut to inside the phone booth]
Van Man: [on the phone] Hello! Is this Sandy Cheeks? It is!? Well, this is your little snookums. I’m about to do you a big favor. Haha. Will you marry me?
[We hear a loud click. Van Man holds his ear in pain and hangs up the phone]
Van Man: Oh! Oh! Oh! [He opens the phone booth]
Chip: Now wait a minute. Can you dial from there?
Van Man: No, can you?
Chip: Yeah! [dials on Van Man’s face]
Van Man: Oh! Oh!
[Cut back to Chip and Van Man in the phone booth. Chip is upside down and his feet are in front of Van Man’s face]
Chip: I can’t stand it any longer. It started with the book.
Van Man: [looking at Chip’s feet] Chip! Where’s you hat? [falls down]
[Cut to Dale outside the phone booth. We hear loud clattering]
[Cut back to Chip and Van Man in the phone booth. They’re still tied up with phone wires. Chip and Van Man have their hands tied onto their faces]
Van Man: Get your hand out of my face!
Chip: That ain’t my hand, it’s your hand.
Van Man: Alright, you asked for it. [bites his hand thinking it’s Chip’s] Ow!!
Chip: Wait wait!
Van Man: Oh!
Chapter 4
"St. Francisville"
Chapter 5
"Chloe"
[Van Man falls through the door and breaks it down by accident. Chip and Dale help Van Man get up]
Chip: Get up there!
Dale: What happened, kid?
Van Man: Can I help it if I'm not her boyfriend? [collapses on the floor]
[Chip and Dale quickly grab Van Man and pull him up. Titanic walks down the hallway and sees Van Man. She runs up to him]
Titanic: Oh, Van Man! Are you alright?
Van Man: Oh, I’m fine.
[Van Man collapses on the floor again. Chip, Dale and Titanic help Van Man up]
Van Man: [to Dale] All I wanted to do was propose, but---
Titanic: [grabs Van Man] Propose!! Oh, Van Man, this is so sudden! [hugs Van Man]
Chip: You mean, you’ll really marry him?
Titanic: Oh, of course. He’s my little old dream boat! [plays with Van Man’s hair]
Van Man: Your little dream boat is sailing [makes a ship horn noise] Hooo! Hooo! [walks away]
Chip: [grabs Van Man] Wait a minute. You’re gonna sail away from a half a million bucks? We only got two hours left. Come on! Get goin’!
