Severe Weather Eddie (Rangerphile avatar)

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Severe Weather Eddie has created his self-insertion character for the numerous round robins that take place at the Cafe.


Eddie is a red fox. He has brown hair and eyes, and he wears a pair of glasses due to his terrible eyesight. His clothing matches what he usually wears in real life: a wide-brimmed Boy Scout campaign hat (often mistaken for a cowboy hat), a pair of blue jeans, a T-shirt, and a green short-sleeved work shirt. Eddie often wears the work shirt unbuttoned like a vest, though other times he will button it up.

In addition to these clothes, Eddie usually has a large multitool and a small Mag-Lite, both of which he keeps in pouches hooked to his belt. He also carries a silver Colt M1911A1 .45 cal semi-automatic handgun. His gun can fire real ammunition, paintball ammunition, and tranquilizer rounds.

Occasionally, Eddie will wear the uniform of a United States Navy captain (when he is on his battleship, the USS Texas) or a modified United States Air Force uniform, with the rank of colonel (when commanding the spacegoing battleship USS Columbia.) (It bears mentioning that Eddie does not hold any sort of military rank in real life.)


Eddie has described his personality on the Cafe as a combination of Han Solo, Baloo from TaleSpin, and Colonel Jack O'Neil from Stargate SG-1. He is a "take charge" kind of guy, and will go to great lengths to help a friend in need. Eddie is "smarter than the average fox," so to speak, and can think quickly on his feet (something that helps him in command positions.) He enjoys just about anything starship related.


Eddie is fascinated with battleships. To that end, he has a small flotilla at the Acorn Cafe. He has two different classes of ships: (up to) five Texas-class oceangoing battleships: USS Texas, BB-72, USS Montana, BB-73, USS Georgia, BB-74, USS Louisiana, BB-75, and USS Rhode Island, BB-76, and two Columbia-class starships (also classified as battleships): USS Columbia, BBX-101, and USS Hyperion, BBX-102. In addition to the ships, Eddie drives a humongous blue 2008 Ford F-250 pickup truck. He has also been known to utilize other vehicles, including a Vietnam-era US Army gun truck and a WWII-era DUKW.

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